Love is not rude
99. To love is also to be gentle and thoughtful, and this is conveyed by the next word, aschemonéi. It indicates that love is not rude or impolite; it is not harsh. Its actions, words and gestures are pleasing and not abrasive or rigid. Love abhors making others suffer. Courtesy "is a school of sensitivity and disinterestedness" which requires a person "to develop his or her mind and feelings, learning how to listen, to speak and, at certain times, to keep quiet".107 It is not something that a Christian may accept or reject. As an essential requirement of love, "every human being is bound to live agreeably with those around him".108 Every day, "entering into the life of another, even when that person already has a part to play in our life, demands the sensitivity and restraint which can renew trust and respect. Indeed, the deeper love is, the more it calls for respect for the other's freedom and the ability to wait until the other opens the door to his or her heart".109
107 Octavio Paz, La llama doble, Barcelona, 1993, 35.
108 Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae II-II, q. 114, art. 2, ad 1.
109 Catechesis (13 May 2005): L'Osservatore Romano, 14 May 2015, p.8.
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