177. God sets the father in the family so that by the gifts of his masculinity he can be "close to his wife and share everything, joy and sorrow, hope and hardship. And to be close to his children as they grow - when they play and when they work, when they are carefree and when they are distressed, when they are talkative and when they are silent, when they are daring and when they are afraid, when they stray and when they get back on the right path. To be a father who is always present. When I say 'present', I do not mean 'controlling'. Fathers who are too controlling overshadow their children, they don't let them develop".197 Some fathers feel they are useless or unnecessary, but the fact is the "children need to find a father waiting for them when they return home with their problems. They may try hard not to admit it, not to show it, but they need it".198 It is not good for children to lack a father and to grow up before they are ready.
197 Catechesis (4 February 2015), L'Osservatore Romano, 5 February 2015, p.8.
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